Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
RESPECT IS DEEP ROOTED IN KENYA (I WAS PERSONALLY TOUCHED BY THIS ARTICLE)
"To strangers Kenya is often portrayed as a lawless, corrupt and corrosive country, where crime is rife in the capital Nairobi, and Machiavelian politicians cynically milk their electorate for votes simply to feather their own nests, rather than for some wider common good.
Some of that is of course true, and there is a lot of misplaced respect for those in positions of power.
However, scratch beneath the surface and you’ll find a society where respect is all around.
It’s deeply rooted in African history and the clan system, where the good of the community takes precedence over individual desires.
Respectful blessings
Sadly, the erosion of some of these traditions is unquestionably the result of imported Western culture, but the roots are still there. During a recent visit to Amoseli national park, I got a glimpse of this traditional sense of “respect”. I was invited to take tea with the district Masai chief. As each of his eight children entered the compound, they lowered their heads so that myself and all the other adults present could touch their heads and bless them. This was not about being a white person in Africa and therefore being afforded a degree of privilege.
Respectful blessings
Sadly, the erosion of some of these traditions is unquestionably the result of imported Western culture, but the roots are still there. During a recent visit to Amoseli national park, I got a glimpse of this traditional sense of “respect”. I was invited to take tea with the district Masai chief. As each of his eight children entered the compound, they lowered their heads so that myself and all the other adults present could touch their heads and bless them. This was not about being a white person in Africa and therefore being afforded a degree of privilege.
It was about being an adult and it was a beautiful gesture.
I later learnt that this is standard conduct in all Masai homes.
It touched me deeply as a humbling and precious introduction to Kenyan life.
In the car journey back to Nairobi I mused how back home in the UK, I’ve been to friends’ homes on many an occasions, and a grumpy teenager has slouched past, without even snorting a greeting.
I was invited to take tea with the district Masai chief.
As each of his eight children entered the compound, they lowered their heads so that myself and all the other adults present could touch their heads and bless them.
This was not about being a white person in Africa and therefore being afforded a degree of privilege.
It was about being an adult and it was a beautiful gesture.
I later learnt that this is standard conduct in all Masai homes.
It touched me deeply as a humbling and precious introduction to Kenyan life.
In the car journey back to Nairobi I mused how back home in the UK, I’ve been to friends’ homes on many an occasions, and a grumpy teenager has slouched past, without even snorting a greeting.
I’m not offended - but the contrast is startling.
Respect in Kenya penetrates much more deeply than just respect for elders.
Among the middle classes in the urban areas like many other parts of the world, respect is associated with material possessions, wealth, influence and power.
Therefore icons such as Nelson Mandela, Bill Gates and David Beckham have global currency, and the car you drive, determines your position in society.
Football in particular commands a great deal of respect.
When I tell people that my home in London is within eyesight of the Arsenal stadium - they want to shake my hand (unless of course they are Manchester United supporters).
Moral respect
But what about respect among those who have few material possessions and whose daily life revolves around getting enough to eat, and getting home before dark when Nairobi’s streets become unsafe?
A missionary whose worked in East Africa for more than 45 years showed me what respect means in the slums of Korogocho - Nairobi’s second largest slum.
People here are respected for what they have been able to achieve, mainly for their own families, not through education or riches but through human endeavour.
Many of the health workers are greatly respected in Korogocho.
They’re respected yet many of them are illiterate, and they’ve risen to positions of leadership because of their sense of social responsibility and individual dynamism.
It’s a moral respect rather than a respect based on wealth and commodities, and it is very visible everywhere.
Its foundations date back to the clan system where nobody starved to death and nobody was an orphan - everybody looked after each other.
Without doubt religion underpins much of East Africa’s sense of respect.
It is not necessarily organised religion, although church attendances in Kenya run at around 90%, and visiting Evangelists attract enormous crowds.
It is religion in the sense of one’s place in the world - that individuals are simply links in a chain, and that tomorrow you could lose your job or you could contract Aids, so you’re acutely aware of being judged by the life you lead."
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
It's crazy how dark skin is hated all over, while everything started with dark skin
I couldn’t have said it better myself… see that’s the thing… it is hated hated hated.. even when a baby is born, the mom has so much hatred for dark skin in so much that they would go as far as praying the baby don’t turn out dark… making comments such as “you can see that they gon be black like hell” “oh my gosh look at the ears, did he/she really have to take her/his daddy’s skin.” why cant they be happy that you have a beautiful new born no matter how their skin will turn out.. I promised myself that I would write something from a light skin’s point of view but no I’m really sorry coz even at my own home I am thrown with silly little comments about dark skin being horrible that’s all the influence I’m getting… I cant even say a thing about the light skinned little girl because they are always the pretty ones….what can I say.. “no you are not as pretty as they say… you are just light skinned” no I cant say that..because they are pretty.. we all are…ts sad coz the light skinned babies get very dissapointed when they realize that they are black not white, that when the white folk looks at her they see a black person… yet we sit around and pick on our own skin tone when we are the same…
I would say random..
Found this when I was educating myself a little more about Africans and it took me back to something I said a while ago about Africans, respect and how to be a lady.
“When meeting most people shake hands or say a normal greeting. Elders are to be respected. Gestures are a little different than in the states. Items are passed and received with two hands. Women add a curtsy. When people talk women usually sit on mats; men sit on higher platforms or a chair. To make eye contact with an elder is considered rude. Public affection is very rude, but friends of the same sex may hold hands.”
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
The unbearable darkness of being beautiful
"IT WAS ridiculous. I told this woman she was beautiful and she argued with me about whether or not I meant it. She said, because of her complexion, that only a whiteman from Europe would tell her she’s pretty and mean it. It made me realise how hard dark beauties have it on this planet.
Abdullah Ibrahim’s daughter is a prolific rapper called Jean Grae who grew up in Brooklyn, NewYork. My first experience of her work was 10 years ago, via an article she’d written about South Africa on a hip-hop website
Abdullah Ibrahim’s daughter is a prolific rapper called Jean Grae who grew up in Brooklyn, NewYork. My first experience of her work was 10 years ago, via an article she’d written about South Africa on a hip-hop website www.allhiphop.com
She spoke of South Africa’s vibrancy, how we have an interesting media industry, a music style called kwaito and other great things. The most striking thing she said, however, was that the television advertisements actually have beautiful dark women in them. It made me wonder about what goes on in the United States but now I get it.
Since there isn’t a specific race group for people of mixed heritage such as South African coloureds, Beyonce and Rihanna qualify as black and are the preferred black faces of campaigns. Dark-skinned girls develop an inferiority complex becauset hey’re not visible. Kelly Rowland admitted that she grew up wishing that she looked like Mariah Carey and has only recently started to feel pretty.
The eyebrows of more socially or politically conscious people would have gone north when they saw the descriptive phrase “dark beauties” but they know the phrase very well. It means “you are dark but you’re beautiful” or “people like you are not usually beautiful”.
Millions of women walk around feeling like this and eventually different things become their source of feeling beautiful, like straightened hair, weaves, polished accents, material wealth, a trophy man, and so the list goes on. I just wonder what little black girls go through when they watch TV. Of course, Indian and coloured people go through this as well, and so being an acceptable young woman, as in not ugly, becomes rather expensive.
In my eyes when growing up, Naomi Campbell’s beauty could only be matched and not topped. She was the epitome of beauty, but my friends liked the green-eyed Tyra Banks. All the girls I liked who looked like Naomi—black and coloured—weren’t even mentioned as pretty.
Mind-boggling stuff it was.
Women with darker complexions do sometimes lack confidence, and it has made relationships with my favourite type difficult. There’s a suspicion about the real reason you’re with them and fears that you will leave them for someone prettier, so you leave for peace of mind.
Maybe Europeans find dark women a novelty, as Africans do lighter women, but it is certain not evenly spread. I’m not convinced that many white women tan because they believe they’re inherently ugly.
But I like all races so, like Kanye West, you might see me “with some light-skinned chicks and some Kelly Rowlands”. Just don’t argue" Follow my blog with Bloglovin
Abdullah Ibrahim’s daughter is a prolific rapper called Jean Grae who grew up in Brooklyn, NewYork. My first experience of her work was 10 years ago, via an article she’d written about South Africa on a hip-hop website www.allhiphop.com
She spoke of South Africa’s vibrancy, how we have an interesting media industry, a music style called kwaito and other great things. The most striking thing she said, however, was that the television advertisements actually have beautiful dark women in them. It made me wonder about what goes on in the United States but now I get it.
Since there isn’t a specific race group for people of mixed heritage such as South African coloureds, Beyonce and Rihanna qualify as black and are the preferred black faces of campaigns. Dark-skinned girls develop an inferiority complex becauset hey’re not visible. Kelly Rowland admitted that she grew up wishing that she looked like Mariah Carey and has only recently started to feel pretty.
The eyebrows of more socially or politically conscious people would have gone north when they saw the descriptive phrase “dark beauties” but they know the phrase very well. It means “you are dark but you’re beautiful” or “people like you are not usually beautiful”.
Millions of women walk around feeling like this and eventually different things become their source of feeling beautiful, like straightened hair, weaves, polished accents, material wealth, a trophy man, and so the list goes on. I just wonder what little black girls go through when they watch TV. Of course, Indian and coloured people go through this as well, and so being an acceptable young woman, as in not ugly, becomes rather expensive.
In my eyes when growing up, Naomi Campbell’s beauty could only be matched and not topped. She was the epitome of beauty, but my friends liked the green-eyed Tyra Banks. All the girls I liked who looked like Naomi—black and coloured—weren’t even mentioned as pretty.
Mind-boggling stuff it was.
Women with darker complexions do sometimes lack confidence, and it has made relationships with my favourite type difficult. There’s a suspicion about the real reason you’re with them and fears that you will leave them for someone prettier, so you leave for peace of mind.
Maybe Europeans find dark women a novelty, as Africans do lighter women, but it is certain not evenly spread. I’m not convinced that many white women tan because they believe they’re inherently ugly.
But I like all races so, like Kanye West, you might see me “with some light-skinned chicks and some Kelly Rowlands”. Just don’t argue" Follow my blog with Bloglovin
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Angelina Jolie Slammed for Putting Extensions in Zahara’s Hair
I personally think that paparazzi has seriously ran out of things to write about, I am a black mother raising two little girls, I braid my kid’s hair and I plan to braid them even more and that should not by any means make them feel insecure. I have watched videos, I have read articles about natural hair and how much extra care it requires. We all know as black people that our hair grows faster, better and is protected when braided. I really don’t understand the fuss about Angelina braiding her baby girl’s hair in fact I think she is doing a good thing because the last thing she needs is to have her hair falling or whatever.
The article I read goes on to say : “Hair experts such as celebrity hairstylist DaRico Jackson claims that at 6-years-old, Zahara is way too young to be rocking that look and that extensions will only breed insecurity in Zahara and point out the fact that she’s different from the rest of her siblings”
I want that hair expect to tell me that He/she has never had a 6 year old braid their hair and look cute, or has never had a six year old as a client for braids or whatever the case maybe… the only reason I would not braid my six year old is that it can be really painful but besides that.. I mean come on, ya’ll are just picking on the girl.
Now this is the statement that just somehow does things to me: “and that extension will only breed insecurity in Zahara and point out the fact that she’s different from the rest of her siblings” Who are we kidding here?? Hey that child already knows she is different, and YES she is different from the rest of her siblings… and if she don’t know then she needs to know… because if she starts thinking she is white.. the same white people are going to be laughing at her.
Maybe you are wondering how or what makes us different Tina, a young black woman living in Johannesburg says: “Its inherent, a matter of fact that most white people were born into a culture that made them superior by default. They never had to prove themselves or their self worth because society told them they were successful just by colour. Even though Africans have every right to the same connotation, its almost also default that we have to work twice as hard to prove ourselves in this same culture. None the less, it is imperative that the black man find identity in his own uniqueness and value that is the African stature he possesses. Its a mentality that needs to be amended for the black man and the white man, it is not for the caucasians to rule the african and the african to not hate the caucasion. In todays pop culture we are alike, Africans from old have had the culture, the colour, the ethnicity and values that have remained, and white people have their own values that don't definitely define the black man. Totally subjective”
So yes Zahara must know she is black and not white and there is a lot except the blood that flows in our veins, our spirits, our souls that makes us different.
I want that hair expect to tell me that He/she has never had a 6 year old braid their hair and look cute, or has never had a six year old as a client for braids or whatever the case maybe… the only reason I would not braid my six year old is that it can be really painful but besides that.. I mean come on, ya’ll are just picking on the girl.
Now this is the statement that just somehow does things to me: “and that extension will only breed insecurity in Zahara and point out the fact that she’s different from the rest of her siblings” Who are we kidding here?? Hey that child already knows she is different, and YES she is different from the rest of her siblings… and if she don’t know then she needs to know… because if she starts thinking she is white.. the same white people are going to be laughing at her.
Maybe you are wondering how or what makes us different Tina, a young black woman living in Johannesburg says: “Its inherent, a matter of fact that most white people were born into a culture that made them superior by default. They never had to prove themselves or their self worth because society told them they were successful just by colour. Even though Africans have every right to the same connotation, its almost also default that we have to work twice as hard to prove ourselves in this same culture. None the less, it is imperative that the black man find identity in his own uniqueness and value that is the African stature he possesses. Its a mentality that needs to be amended for the black man and the white man, it is not for the caucasians to rule the african and the african to not hate the caucasion. In todays pop culture we are alike, Africans from old have had the culture, the colour, the ethnicity and values that have remained, and white people have their own values that don't definitely define the black man. Totally subjective”
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
RANDOM
My goodness… I been thinking about what freedom means to people and how they view it… because to me it is so not trying to be something you are not but definitely “being” what you truly are and having the freedom to embrace it— I’ve watched for so long people teaching other women on how to be a lady as if Africans or black people don’t know how to be a lady… were you not taught as a girl to close your legs when you sit?? were you not taught do that little bowing thing when you greet elders? were you not taught to greet visitors with a handshake? have you seen what Venda women do when they greet men or the king… they literally lie on the ground… that is being a lady correct me if I’m wrong… so I’m not saying people should just start lying on the ground when greeting people.. I’m Xhosa and I will not sleep on the ground when I greet my uncle but I will give him a handshake and the little bend your knees type of thing… I am free, free to be who I am, free to embrace what I am and where I come from, free to do what I want to do, free to represent my true identity. Why is my natural hair not good enough for people?? why cant I rock my hair in an interview?? why am I considered having a bad hair day when I wear my natural hair… I was walking around my hood yesterday evening and a good looking guy comes up to me and tells me how beautiful I am… there I was smiling away and thanking him for the complement… and then he goes on to say ” you know whats missing ? if you could get just the bonding/weave thing going on and you are good to go” What?? this is my hair!! at the end of it all and when all goes wrong I have this hair to fall back on nothing more nothing less… ??? now in order for me to look “pretty enough for people” I have to put on weave…?? Just the other day I was in shop rite with 2 of my frnds.. not that I was eavesdropping on people but I just happened to overhear a men very old “dark” looking men telling a light skinned women who from what I gathered was venda… and this men said “how come are you venda and look so good?? because I know a lot of venda women are ugly, even on movhango its just two people that are pretty…” excuse me?? can somebody guess who those two women might be?? the only thing that came to mind when he says such a thing is “light skin” why are people so ignorant.. ?? ya’ll are merely saying black people are ugly and a beautiful black women is a women who is close enough to being white… ??? people go as far as “thanking” God that we have “mixed races” … I call this self hate.. SELF HATE… YOU HATE YOURSELF AND YOU WOULD RATHER BE WHITE… and that is SO NOT FREEDOM!!
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